An auditorium styled class-room with the class-well being dominated by eccentric characters, who often had names patterned as AK-47, Golu or just Baba, meant that you were extremely lucky if you had being assigned a seat in one of the rows at the back. Of course your luck was also dependent on how much foresight your parents had by not naming you as Abhishek or my personal favorite -Aaditya. An alphabetical order among other things meant that Zuhaib would be perennially safeguarded from the fierce stares that the occupants of the front benches often were subject to. Of course cold-calling was a great leveler and something which the front benches swore by as the only proof of existence of God & justice.
Shekhar's grand parents, more specifically his grand father was to be thanked for having christened him strategically in the later half of the curve. Shekhar would never be a part of either the front benches or the back benches, he was safe in the middle to back bench zone. Safe from the vicious stares and taunts as well as the cold-calls which would generally be targeted at Abhisheks, Aadityas, Vinayaks and Zuhaibs. He was like an Indian cricketer who came at five or six down. One was assigned this number only if either you were not good enough to open the batting or not a good enough bowler to allow you the luxury to come out last. He was expected to just fill the seat, not much else was expected. Though the logic seems nonsensical but if you were a Indian cricket fan you would implicitly understand. Another implicit implication is associated with this assertion - if you don't agree with the logic then you are not a fan of Indian cricket - blasphemy!
Lovely Cyra on the other hand had Bal Thackeray & Co. to thank for her fortunate location in the middle-to-back rows. If you still haven't guessed it by now then let me put it simply - this story is of Shekhar & Cyra, and it is not a love story, at least not with a happy ending. Coming back to the seating arrangements, it was not that Cyra was some political kid who bullied the PGP office into getting a seat of her choice. The Maharashtra system of nomenclature, devised by some nut belonging to the aforementioned political clan, was to blame - a simple name like Cyra became Sahukar Cyra Bahaman.
But then again, it was not all bad. It put Cyra & Bittu in adjacent seats. And it also gave yours truly an opportunity to script this tale, which is a work of pure fiction by the way.
The initial euphoria of being an IIM-wallah was wearing thin and so did the usual "oh-we-have-adjacent-seats-how-nice" routine, they were two weeks into the system and surprise tests were looming. To top that the committees would soon be having another review for the potential recruits where half-baked lame ideas would be given as much consideration as world peace. Life was not all that it seemed to be.
THWACK!
Shekhar suddenly breaking out of his self-loathing reverie looked at the source of the interruption - Cyra. His look expressed an what-the-hell-why-did-you-kick-me look. Cyra merely motioned with her big black eyes towards the piece of paper next to his notebook. He adjusted himself from his reclining position to a more studious and attentive position while all the time maintaining a good eye contact with the professor in front. Having attained this position he glanced down to see two words written in a sleepy sort of scribble - Whats up? He thought for a second and his best response to that was - ??. Which though not much in terms of volume but was a definite conversation starter. What followed was an alternate exchange of scribbles which not much in volume but seen in the right way would amount to a profound conversation. It looked something like this:
C (Cyra) - what's up?
S (Shekhar) - ??
C - bored. sleepy.
S - ??
C - ass!! bored, sleepy!
S - ??
C - talk?
S - ??
(pause for a few secs)
S - cool, quiz?
C - ?? nah!
S - ??
C - gossip?
S - :) ohk? who?
C - you :)
(no response as Shekhar goes back to looking attentive)
C - gf?
(no response as Shekhar glances down at the new scribble and goes back to looking attentive)
C - are all dilliwallahs like this? boring?
S - ??
C - Partha! same as you. all nsit ppl same... boring!
S - am dce, not nsit! and delhi rocks! not like bombay ahem... mumbai. jai maharashtra
C - ha ha, very funny.
S - what abt partha though?
C - he claims to be some stud from dce, met him in the index meet. you know him?
S - kind of, CL. nsit is sad, dce rules!
C - like i care! so gf?
S - :(
C - who do you think is the hottest girl in the batch?
S - (shekhar surprised by the question) why?
C - aisey hi... some girls were talking.... so i thought ki lets do primary research
Why don't you please include the remaining mortals in your conversation um.... Mr. Bharadwaj is it? and Mr. Sahukar .... Ms. I mean. What is your name actually? Bahaman? Sahukar?....
CYRA... Cyra added loudly.
Well, thank you Mr & Mrs. Cyra. I think the class can thank both of you for a surprise quiz. Everybody please take out a sheet, calculators are allowed but you will not need them, it's a ten minute quiz with two questions, it will be graded out of ten marks and will carry a weight of ten percent in your final score. The first question is of seven marks and the second one of three. Is everybody ready to write down the question now?
15 minutes later... the class ended and students started moving out from the class.
THWACK!
A not-important-enough-a-character-to-be-named character went - Nice going Mr. Cyra... beta teri toh aaj haapy birthday hai.
Bittu was now Shekhar a. k. a. Bittu a. k. a. Mr. Cyra
the stage was set - for the heartbreak
-
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Bittu Part 2
Part 1 here
continued...
But he promised to himself this was the last time he would be #2. Hel(L) would know only of Shekhar #1 (though he cringed inwardly at making himself sound like a David Dhawan movie). The first day at L was registration and section allotment. As he walked up to the registration desk, somebody tapped his shoulder from behind. When he turned back he saw it was a girl. The girl said -Hi! Do you have pen to spare? I need it for just a minute. Bittu took out one of the pens, handed it to her, said - No sweat! and moved on to the join the queue.
Girls were a rare species in L, in fact they were rare in almost all fields of under-graduate and post-graduate studies except for medicine (only in India), and this could be very well understood from the stats which stood at 27 + 256 = 283. Where 27 being the number of girls, 256 being the number of guys and 283 the grand total of students in the class of 2009, IIM Lucknow. These stats would undergo some subtractions as hel(L) was notorious for chucking out students with poor academic record at term ends. But that is something that we need not concern ourselves, Bittu was in the positive tail of the normal curve. Academics would be the least of his preoccupations. Trust me on that.
Well, having registered himself he went ahead and joined his friends for remaining part of the pre-lunch registration session. During lunchtime he decided to skip lunch and go to the "Chintan Block" to collect his study material for the first trimester. Not that he was in a hurry and eager to start studying but he just wanted to avoid the rush that would be there later on. Actual studies would not begin for another two days as the first two days would be taken to prepare the students for the case method of studying. Right now most of the others had their nose buried in the sample case which would be taught in class today after lunch. That meant when the class would break for the day there would be a sudden surge in the Chintan block and getting your material would become a positive headache.
He was still a good 50 steps or so away from the counter but could still see that there was already somebody there collecting their material. He silently cursed himself, not #2 again, but he was not surprised, of course his was not the most original idea. What was interesting though was it was a girl at the counter, what were the odds he thought and then answered himself about - for: 1/9. The girl had obviously underestimated the the volume of books and notes that she was to receive and so had he. It would be difficult to carry all the books, nay impossible. He aborted the idea of collecting the books now and reminded himself to bring along the trolley suitcase when he comes later in the evening. He turned around and had taken only a few steps when he heard - Hey! Help please!. It was the girl at the counter asking for help with the books. I had no idea it would be so much, can you help me please? My hostel is closeby only. Up to the gate if you don't mind? Shekhar thought was this fate? Second time in a day some girl speaks to him. Well what the heck he thought, try karney mein kya jata hai, right? Shayad yahan #1 ho jaye? He walked up to her and tried his charming best - Serious miscalculation, huh? The girl smiled a very disarming smile and said - Totally! I should have listened to my boyfriend when he had warned - go prepared. He's an alum you know, 2007 batch. He is in Merrill right now, IB division. Shekhar mentally -KUNDA!!! boyfriend? aur karley try, kuch nahi hoga, verbally - Oh really! That's awesome, so a power couple, sahi! Let me help out with those, it's not a problem. About 10 mins. later they were standing in front of Hostel 1 - the girls hostel. He hesitated for a second as he stood at the gate, the girl sensing that said - It would be super helpful if you could just bring it up to my room. Anyways its cool here, boys can come in and go anytime of day and there is no guard also. And you can get your first peek inside the girl's hostel as well. This girl sure knew how to get work done by the guys. Anyways our hero Bittu didn't see any harm and came with the girl up to her room. That is when he heard - Ruchika! You got your books also? Right behind him was the same pen-girl he had seen in the morning. She recognized him immediately - Hey! You again, thanks for the pen in the morning. I couldn't give your pen back, you simply disappeared. I'm Cyra, Cyra Sahukar. Bittu, not used to so much of female company blurted out - I'm Bittu, I mean Shekhar. Cyra just smiled with raised eyebrows while Ruchika could managed to raise only one eyebrow and commented - Cute name! Thanks a ton for helping out. By the way which section? Bittu - D, what about you two? Cyra - D? That's quite a coincidence. So am I. And you too Ruchi, right? All in the same section. Ruchika - Small world. Cyra seemed to be in thought and then said - Am in room 119, next to Ruchi. See ya guys around, have to run for lunch.
to be continued...
-
continued...
But he promised to himself this was the last time he would be #2. Hel(L) would know only of Shekhar #1 (though he cringed inwardly at making himself sound like a David Dhawan movie). The first day at L was registration and section allotment. As he walked up to the registration desk, somebody tapped his shoulder from behind. When he turned back he saw it was a girl. The girl said -Hi! Do you have pen to spare? I need it for just a minute. Bittu took out one of the pens, handed it to her, said - No sweat! and moved on to the join the queue.
Girls were a rare species in L, in fact they were rare in almost all fields of under-graduate and post-graduate studies except for medicine (only in India), and this could be very well understood from the stats which stood at 27 + 256 = 283. Where 27 being the number of girls, 256 being the number of guys and 283 the grand total of students in the class of 2009, IIM Lucknow. These stats would undergo some subtractions as hel(L) was notorious for chucking out students with poor academic record at term ends. But that is something that we need not concern ourselves, Bittu was in the positive tail of the normal curve. Academics would be the least of his preoccupations. Trust me on that.
Well, having registered himself he went ahead and joined his friends for remaining part of the pre-lunch registration session. During lunchtime he decided to skip lunch and go to the "Chintan Block" to collect his study material for the first trimester. Not that he was in a hurry and eager to start studying but he just wanted to avoid the rush that would be there later on. Actual studies would not begin for another two days as the first two days would be taken to prepare the students for the case method of studying. Right now most of the others had their nose buried in the sample case which would be taught in class today after lunch. That meant when the class would break for the day there would be a sudden surge in the Chintan block and getting your material would become a positive headache.
He was still a good 50 steps or so away from the counter but could still see that there was already somebody there collecting their material. He silently cursed himself, not #2 again, but he was not surprised, of course his was not the most original idea. What was interesting though was it was a girl at the counter, what were the odds he thought and then answered himself about - for: 1/9. The girl had obviously underestimated the the volume of books and notes that she was to receive and so had he. It would be difficult to carry all the books, nay impossible. He aborted the idea of collecting the books now and reminded himself to bring along the trolley suitcase when he comes later in the evening. He turned around and had taken only a few steps when he heard - Hey! Help please!. It was the girl at the counter asking for help with the books. I had no idea it would be so much, can you help me please? My hostel is closeby only. Up to the gate if you don't mind? Shekhar thought was this fate? Second time in a day some girl speaks to him. Well what the heck he thought, try karney mein kya jata hai, right? Shayad yahan #1 ho jaye? He walked up to her and tried his charming best - Serious miscalculation, huh? The girl smiled a very disarming smile and said - Totally! I should have listened to my boyfriend when he had warned - go prepared. He's an alum you know, 2007 batch. He is in Merrill right now, IB division. Shekhar mentally -KUNDA!!! boyfriend? aur karley try, kuch nahi hoga, verbally - Oh really! That's awesome, so a power couple, sahi! Let me help out with those, it's not a problem. About 10 mins. later they were standing in front of Hostel 1 - the girls hostel. He hesitated for a second as he stood at the gate, the girl sensing that said - It would be super helpful if you could just bring it up to my room. Anyways its cool here, boys can come in and go anytime of day and there is no guard also. And you can get your first peek inside the girl's hostel as well. This girl sure knew how to get work done by the guys. Anyways our hero Bittu didn't see any harm and came with the girl up to her room. That is when he heard - Ruchika! You got your books also? Right behind him was the same pen-girl he had seen in the morning. She recognized him immediately - Hey! You again, thanks for the pen in the morning. I couldn't give your pen back, you simply disappeared. I'm Cyra, Cyra Sahukar. Bittu, not used to so much of female company blurted out - I'm Bittu, I mean Shekhar. Cyra just smiled with raised eyebrows while Ruchika could managed to raise only one eyebrow and commented - Cute name! Thanks a ton for helping out. By the way which section? Bittu - D, what about you two? Cyra - D? That's quite a coincidence. So am I. And you too Ruchi, right? All in the same section. Ruchika - Small world. Cyra seemed to be in thought and then said - Am in room 119, next to Ruchi. See ya guys around, have to run for lunch.
to be continued...
-
Bittu Part 1
Boy meets Girl.
No sparks fly, life goes on.
Boy keeps meeting Girl.
The Boy falls for the Girl.
The Boy starts to woo the Girl.
The Girl doesn’t respond.
Life goes on.
The Girl keeps meeting the Boy.
The Boy keeps wooing Girl.
Eventually it happens… Love (or something like that)
They live happily ever after.
This is not the story of the Boy and the Girl; this is the story of B2: The Boy 2. The Boy 2, the guy who used to sit next to the Girl in the class, who was the Girl’s closest guy-friend before Boy happened to Girl.
Summer of 2007:
A new first term at L, another new batch of wide-eyed kids, all of them wannabe CEOs, entering the gates of hel(L). Most of them were engineers from either the IITs or DCE/NSIT/NITs. And among this crowd of engineers was Shekhar “B2” Bharadwaj, B.E. Mechanical Engineering from DCE, class of 2007. Back in DCE the college staff had assigned him the roll number - 2K3/B2 and Bhandari, his soon to be best friend, not able to recall his name had called out loudly “B2” during lunch. Since then he had been known as B2 or Bittu. Bittu had had a love-hate (mostly hate) relation with the #2. Always #2 in the class, the #1 position had different claimants but nobody could dislodge Bittu from #2, not even he himself. He was in the college cricket team and easily one of the best players, but here also he was #2 and the vice captain. When the CAT results had come out he was waitlist #2 on the L list. ABC his #1 choice of institutes had bypassed Bittu. But he was still happy with his WL #2, he would easily make it to L, the conversion was a sure shot. Perhaps the only time he hadn’t grudged his #2 status.
But he promised to himself this was the last time he would be #2. Hel(L) would know only of Shekhar #1 (though he cringed inwardly at making himself sound like a David Dhawan movie). The first day at L was registration and section allotment. As he walked up to the registration desk, somebody tapped his shoulder from behind. When he turned back he saw it was a girl. The girl said -Hi! Do you have pen to spare? I need it for just a minute.
To be continued…
-
No sparks fly, life goes on.
Boy keeps meeting Girl.
The Boy falls for the Girl.
The Boy starts to woo the Girl.
The Girl doesn’t respond.
Life goes on.
The Girl keeps meeting the Boy.
The Boy keeps wooing Girl.
Eventually it happens… Love (or something like that)
They live happily ever after.
This is not the story of the Boy and the Girl; this is the story of B2: The Boy 2. The Boy 2, the guy who used to sit next to the Girl in the class, who was the Girl’s closest guy-friend before Boy happened to Girl.
Summer of 2007:
A new first term at L, another new batch of wide-eyed kids, all of them wannabe CEOs, entering the gates of hel(L). Most of them were engineers from either the IITs or DCE/NSIT/NITs. And among this crowd of engineers was Shekhar “B2” Bharadwaj, B.E. Mechanical Engineering from DCE, class of 2007. Back in DCE the college staff had assigned him the roll number - 2K3/B2 and Bhandari, his soon to be best friend, not able to recall his name had called out loudly “B2” during lunch. Since then he had been known as B2 or Bittu. Bittu had had a love-hate (mostly hate) relation with the #2. Always #2 in the class, the #1 position had different claimants but nobody could dislodge Bittu from #2, not even he himself. He was in the college cricket team and easily one of the best players, but here also he was #2 and the vice captain. When the CAT results had come out he was waitlist #2 on the L list. ABC his #1 choice of institutes had bypassed Bittu. But he was still happy with his WL #2, he would easily make it to L, the conversion was a sure shot. Perhaps the only time he hadn’t grudged his #2 status.
But he promised to himself this was the last time he would be #2. Hel(L) would know only of Shekhar #1 (though he cringed inwardly at making himself sound like a David Dhawan movie). The first day at L was registration and section allotment. As he walked up to the registration desk, somebody tapped his shoulder from behind. When he turned back he saw it was a girl. The girl said -Hi! Do you have pen to spare? I need it for just a minute.
To be continued…
-
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Boom-boom
Ice-cream after lunch should become an SOP (standard operating procedure) from now on. It’s because of the ice-cream isn’t it Jojo? That was Dr. Pal (Head R&D) teasing Jojo, the marketing dude (in every sense of the way) for southern Mindanao, and his team. Dr. Pal loves his corn, he loves the fact that Jojo made good his promise - Dr. Pal, you don’t worry. You’ll see all the Healer 101, except for those in critical areas. “Critical” in the Filipino lingua franca means - war torn or politically sensitive area. Refer this for further clarification.
Fritz, driving the Nissan-Frontier with me as the co-passenger, observed - (With a smile that said- Oh! we’re so fucked now) It’s perfect; if abductors attack we’ll be gone. It’s the same place where the ice-cream comment was made. It was not a critical area, at least not that critical.
Jojo on why this would be the last location for our crop tour - There is another location towards that side (signaling to the west) but because of the boom-boom (trying to play down the gunshots hardly 200 - 300 meters away) we’ll not go there.
Some unintelligible words interspersed with the word sniper. That were the PCs (Product Consultants - Jojo’s team basically) talking among themselves.
Sounds fun?
This was me on the crop tour (read product evaluation) before launching of a new GM (genetically modified) corn hybrid - Healer 101. Area - Bukidnon & Cotabato. The “boom-boom” place - Carmen, Cotabato. Date - 4th December, 2009.
If you have never heard a gunshot then it sounds like somebody cutting wood. If not told I’d never have guessed it.
-
Fritz, driving the Nissan-Frontier with me as the co-passenger, observed - (With a smile that said- Oh! we’re so fucked now) It’s perfect; if abductors attack we’ll be gone. It’s the same place where the ice-cream comment was made. It was not a critical area, at least not that critical.
Jojo on why this would be the last location for our crop tour - There is another location towards that side (signaling to the west) but because of the boom-boom (trying to play down the gunshots hardly 200 - 300 meters away) we’ll not go there.
Some unintelligible words interspersed with the word sniper. That were the PCs (Product Consultants - Jojo’s team basically) talking among themselves.
Sounds fun?
This was me on the crop tour (read product evaluation) before launching of a new GM (genetically modified) corn hybrid - Healer 101. Area - Bukidnon & Cotabato. The “boom-boom” place - Carmen, Cotabato. Date - 4th December, 2009.
If you have never heard a gunshot then it sounds like somebody cutting wood. If not told I’d never have guessed it.
-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
