Much ado about marriages

It was the summer of 2002, the results were out. None of the IITs, none of the NITs, neither DCE nor NSIT, Bangalore was still an option, but too expensive for my ego. I'd come to believe in a philosophy where, intelligent students either don't pay or pay less for studying. And studying meant engineering; if someone was doing B.Sc. then that meant he was just plain retarded. And you would enroll in a private college in Bangalore only if you were a spoilt rich brat. AIEEE had been the only exam where I had a decent rank and that still left the door open to BIT Mesra, which though a private college had a reputation for being home to hardworking diligent students. The first counseling didn't get me anywhere close to Mesra but it did get me some quaint college in the city of Chennai, almost 2000 km from my home in Delhi.

Sathyabama Institute of Science and Technology.

Till that time I, by my own confession, was still a kid. I'd had a pretty protected life, never had to worry about any of the worldly issues. Parents were always around to take care of things and my sister was there to give me hell with her tantrums, in other words life was good, no in fact it was better than good, it was better :)

But now the results meant that I would have move to Chennai. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It was time the scrawny little awkward kid finally grew up. This development was quite definitely the single largest event that influenced how I have turned out as an adult at 25. This event also gave me my first true friends - a whole gang of them. I’ve no friends from grade school that I can call buddies, and I sometimes wonder why? Anyways, getting back to the story, the first was Girish. Girish Kumar Bharadwaj, 2K2 SIC 402. I was Partha Basu, 2K2 SIC 401. The only common thread that we shared was both of us were from northern part of the country and were in the same section – Instrumentation & Control. For one year we were the best of friends. Then in 2003 I ran away, DCE it was. I had betrayed Girish, he was alone in that hell-hole now. But, he was one of those friends who push you forward rather than hold you back. I knew how he felt, he even voiced it once, he said something like – Yaar, main toh akela ho gaya. Ab toh IC mein koi nahi bacha, par tu galti se bhi laut ke mat aaiyo.

Its been almost 5 years since I saw him; we talked occasionally but never managed to meet. He is getting married on 1st of December, 2009. Best of luck and best wishes Girish & Niharika. The whole gang is going to be there - Shwet, Vikash, Abhijeet, Avanish… all of them. I so wish I could also be there brother. My best wishes to both of you once again.

Fast forward to 2009, there is another friend of mine, somebody more recent. He was my classmate at IIM Lucknow. One of the most decent and gentlemanly people I’ve ever met. But as the old adage goes - Nice guys finish last - he is nowhere near the front. An eligible bachelor by every sense - tall, dark and handsome (dark in TDH refers to the color of hair and not skin, if you are still wondering he is fair, extremely), he landed one of the best paying jobs from campus and he is pushing the limits of hindu age of getting married, for a guy.  Either he was too lazy or too much of a chicken in his prime. Well he wasn’t lazy so that makes him a chicken? Not a chicken either, in reality he is just a nice guy. That is his problem and now he has another problem - no girls. His current state of affairs in his own words - yaar ladki main major dimaag hona chahiye… smart honi chahiye… and well educated… aur kaam karne main enthu… unfortunately aisi ladkian a) brahmins main kam milti hain b) agar hoti hai toh already booked hoti hain… toh isliye… abhi tak kuch bana nahin plus then i am manglik… apparently a very strong one at that… toh wahan kunda ho jaata hai. Best of luck to you too dude! I hope you meet the 2010 deadline :)

Having already played with the time coordinate we now focus on the space coordinates. Shifting from India and coming to an island country in the Pacific Ocean. An orange colored SUV is weaving its way thorough the traffic on the highway connecting Gensan and Davao - this is Philippines. The SUV is packed, the front two rows are occupied by middle aged couples whose destination is a hill station resort in the vicinity. The last row is occupied by a 25 year old guy, a new addition in the company of one of the guys in front, and a 9 or 10 year old girl, the same person’s daughter, and along with them a host of food & drinks that the people in front have made. The guy can smell the rajma, not bad at all especially since he misses all the home food. But on the other hand he wonders what is he doing here? A weekend free and I’m spending it like this? As a tag along? Oh! How badly he is missing his “spirited eighth”, what he wouldn’t do to be with her. And yes he has no idea that the destination has no cell-phone coverage, so he doesn’t know that he is in for some scolding later on. But anyways, he dutifully tries to make small talk with the little girl. Tongue twisters, brain teasers and all such exchanges are carried out. Then the little girl exclaims - You are weird! I like you. Fate! Even the small girl knows that this guy is a bit eccentric, but for her in a good way, she likes him. Some more time passes on the road and the little girl (LG) asks - Can I ask you a secret? The guy (TG) nods and says – Yes, you can. LG – Are you single? You are not married right? TG – That’s right, I’m still unmarried. LG – Will you marry me when I grow up? Then the time froze. The guy came up with like 20 answers to the innocent question and with each of those 20 answers he did a separate scenario planning of how it might play out, but the beauty of this part is that all this would not have taken more than a fraction of a second. However, what ultimately did come out was just a random string of words which made sense at that instant. TG – Only if you study hard and become a scholar when you grow up. LG (nodding sincerely with a wide smile). He didn’t screw up, he acted like an adult. No! He was an adult. A slightly smug adult, it was the first time any kid had had a crush on him. It told him one thing for sure; he was growing older. Soon he’ll have his own deadlines. Silently he hopes that he has already found the – one – the one who mixes up words and comes out with most charming new ones like - TELU.

There is no connection, no hidden moral. Just three things that were on my mind for some time now.

@KT: you fit into that nice guy mould. So, get busy! Seriously!